being so stressed all the time. I do not get paid enough or even do a job life changing enough to warrant the amount of stress. Its not even the job, its the expectations associated with it - maybe its partly that I am soley responsible for myself too, no one to help me pay the bills or cuddle me at the end of a long day, or soothe the fears away. Sigh.

I found you. You make me smile everyday, without fail. you care what I think, how I feel. You respect me. You are becoming my reflection - when I look at me, I see you and us and feel hopeful for whatever comes next. Good or bad, I wouldn’t change this for anything.

Will I fall over the edge and accept that whatever happens, happens and give in to it all or will I fight to regain control? Knowing I can never really control what hapens, only my reactions.

I want solid answers to so many questions right now! Patience is perhaps not one of my strongest attributes. Knowing me, no matter how many answers I do get, there will still be an endless list of questions.

I wish I could quiet my mind.

but I can’t express enough that love, forgiveness and grace toward your fellow man is the key to happiness. Always forgive, more for yourself than the other person, live life with a clean mind and heart. I wasted so many years being bitter and hateful towards people who were not even deserving of my dislike and all it did was destroy parts of me - there is freedom in forgiveness. Its not always easy, but I guess practice makes perfect.

to ever put myself in the position of being heartbroken ever again. I know they say better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all…but is it?